While recently working at the corporate headquarters of DownEast Basics, I learned much more about the people of the LDS faith than I could have ever wanted to know. As all who have worked in customer service know, people are bitches. Even cute Mormon moms. And who ever thought people would get their panties (well, kind of) in a bunch over modest clothing?
Overly Modest Woman calls one day and complains--for a half hour--about how our uber modest clothing is too tight, too low, too suggestive. Too bad they weren't video phones--I would love to see that burlap bag that she must be wearing around.
Devil Woman calls one day to tell me how our clothes are of the devil, since she too believes that our clothing is immodest. Yes, my boss is Satan. You guessed right!
Dragon Lady calls in and right off the bat bombards me with every cuss word in the English language. Apparently the F-word was her favorite. After listening to her bitch me out for circa 10 minutes, she finally informed of her complaint--our gift cards. Even at that point, she was so difficult, I passed her off onto my supervisor, who in turn, got her turn of an earful.
Polygamy-o-phobia lady calls and tells me that our company is slowly leading young Mormon girls to support a life of polygamy. "I know," POP Lady says,"that you are a ploygamist. And so are your company's owners." Even after assuring her I wasn't, she said that I too was brainwashed. Because somehow our return policy is related to brainwashing and polygamy.
What did I learn from these Relief Society Sisters? Well, Overly Modest Woman, Devil Woman, Dragon Lady, and POP Lady all taught me that Mormon housewives have too much time on their hands. Please, girls, get a better hobby.
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