Tongue Loosed?

Nope. My tongue can never actually voice what I want to say. And when I don't want it to say anything...WORD VOMIT! All over everything. And then I say embarrassing things to people, including boys that I like. In all almost 20 years of my life, my tongue has never done me any service when it comes to conversation.

Because I am cognizant that my tongue is handicapped, I just run from situations where I might not be able to voice what I want to say. Yup. That can mean avoiding people for years! By the way, this is not a tactic that I recommend. I actually think part of that is being too nice. Too nice? Yup. Weird. But true. It's like I dance around most people's feelings, but by doing that I just end up hurting them more in the end.

For example, I've always been nervous about telling my family about who I'm dating. Always. For no good reason, either. I think I rationalize it to myself, by saying that I'm trying to protect my family in case they don't like them or some-other "I don't want to hurt their feelings" excuse...anyway...I had brought a boy over to meet my sister, but never officially announced that we were dating. On a roadtrip where he, my sister, and a friend dropped me off for a job, he told my sister that we were dating! Beyond the fact that it was an obvious breach of trust, it hurt my sister more that I didn't tell her. So by not telling her and trying to save her feelings really ended up hurting her more. Ugh! I guess in the long run, it wasn't so bad. My sister and I are much closer now and I can cry to her about stupid boys! My point is...holding back the full truth and sparing people's feelings=stupid idea. It does not work.


I think the time my tongue is the most loose is when I'm gossiping. It's a difficult vice not to indulge in, especially as a girl. In my apartment, we've made many recent efforts to make our home a brighter space. We even bought full-spectrum light to make it literally brighter. And yet I can't help but feel that if we just kept our tongues in line, we would be much happier. But I guess it's just a side-effect of living with girls.